Building your family

“No normal embryos” doesn’t always mean the end.Lisa talks with Dr. Norbert Gleicher and Dr. David Barad from the Center for Human Reproduction about IVF for tough cases, especially older patients. They discuss PGTA, aneuploid and mosaic embryos, immunology, inflammation, and why individualized, evidence‑based treatment can open options many patients don’t realize they have.
Have you been told you have “no normal embryos” and feel like you’re out of options?
In this episode of the Building Your Family Podcast, Lisa talks with Dr. Norbert Gleicher and Dr. David Barad from the Center for Human Reproduction about IVF for some of the toughest cases: older patients, “no normal embryos,” and cycles where many people are told there’s nothing else to try.
They discuss why careful diagnosis and truly individualized treatment matter so much, especially for older patients; how they think about embryos other clinics might not consider; and what current evidence actually shows about PGTA, aneuploid and mosaic embryos, and implantation. They also explore the role of immunology, inflammation, toxins like microplastics, supplements, and AI in embryo selection.
In this conversation, you’ll hear about:
    What “no normal embryos” really means (and what it doesn’t)    Why one‑size‑fits‑all IVF protocols often fail older patients    The controversy around PGTA and how it affects real‑world outcomes    When aneuploid and mosaic embryos may still be part of a thoughtful plan    How immunology, inflammation, and sensitivities can impact implantation    Personalized ovulation induction for older patients    Why evidence‑based, individualized care matters more than trends or hype
If you’ve been told there are no options left, this episode can help you ask better questions and understand what might still be possible for your family.
Subscribe to the Building Your Family Podcast for more evidence‑based conversations on fertility, donor conception, and surrogacy.
Episode resourcesWebsite: https://centerforhumanreprod.com/

In this first episode of the Zoom Out series, reproductive therapist, researcher, and author Lisa Schuman, LCSW unpacks the most important question almost no one asks about egg freezing.
Lisa explains why “How many eggs can I freeze?” is only part of the story, and why you also need to understand how many cycles and eggs you’re likely to need for the kind of family you actually want in the future. She introduces her Zoom Out Theory – a simple framework to help you step back from panic, manage stress, and make clearer decisions about your fertility.
Drawing on decades of clinical experience and research, Lisa also shares surprising data about non‑genetic parenthood options: how many egg freezing patients are open to donor eggs, embryos, or other paths if needed, and why that matters for how aggressively you pursue more cycles now.
You’ll learn:
The critical egg freezing question almost no one thinks to askWhy freezing “as many eggs as possible” isn’t always necessary – or helpfulHow your emotional state can quietly distort your fertility decisionsWhat Lisa’s research reveals about patients’ real openness to non‑genetic optionsA practical way to zoom out and plan for your long‑term family, not just the next cycleIf you’re considering egg freezing – or you’ve already frozen eggs and are wondering what comes next – this episode will help you balance facts and feelings so you can move forward with more confidence.
#eggfreezing #fertility #ivfjourney #fertilitypreservation#reproductivehealth #ttc #familybuilding #donorconception

In this episode of Building Your Family, Lisa Schuman, LCSW sits down with Dr. Jessica Gray, a physician who has lived through infertility, miscarriage, and the intense pressures of medical training on her way to motherhood.
Jessica shares how a stressful childhood shaped her resilience, what it was like to face endometriosis and IVF as both a doctor and a patient, and how she coped when a long‑hoped‑for pregnancy ended in miscarriage. She talks candidly about binders of notes, hours of research, and the feeling of “doing everything right” and still not getting the outcome she hoped for.
Together, Lisa and Jessica explore the emotional burden of infertility on both partners, the importance of support systems, and the small planning behaviors that can create a sense of control in an uncertain journey. Jessica reflects on how she now gives back to the infertility and parenting community, and what she would say to her younger self who was just starting down this road.
If you’ve felt isolated, overwhelmed, or “not like yourself” during infertility or pregnancy, this conversation offers validation, practical coping ideas, and hope.
Dr. Jessica Gray resources:Website: https://www.drjessicagraymd.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drjessicagraymd
#infertility #miscarriage #IVFjourney #endometriosis #ttccommunity #infertilitysupport #pregnancyloss #mentalhealth#familybuilding #fertilitytreatment #resilience#motherhood #medicaltraining #emotionalhealth #buildyourfamilypodcast 

If you’re single or in a relationship that isn’t working and you’re quietly Googling “single motherhood by choice,” this episode is for you. In this conversation with SMBC fertility doctor Alexis Melnick, MD, we walk through 5 clear steps to help you decide before your back is against the wall.
We cover both paths: staying on the relationship track and exploring single motherhood by choice on your own timeline. You’ll hear about the emotional, practical, financial, and support‑system questions to ask yourself so you can move from spiraling alone at 2 a.m. to making a grounded plan.
Inside this episode:• Who this is really for (single, dating, or in a shaky relationship)• The 5‑step framework Alexis uses with clients considering SMBC• Grief, stigma, and the “mourning period” for the life you imagined• Why so many people say they wish they’d decided earlier• How to know you didn’t “fail” if you choose this path
If you’re considering donor conception or surrogacy as a single parent, this will help you feel less alone, more informed, and better prepared.
Work with Alexis: [alm2036@med.cornell.edu]Get my free family‑building resources: 10 Things Donor Conceived Children Want Their Parents To Understand: https://familybuilding.net/free-downloads/
#singlemotherbychoice #singlemotherhood #donorconception #fertilityjourney #queerfamily

In honor of Pride, this episode is a love letter to queer family building.
I’ve pulled my favorite moments from conversations with LGBTQ+ parents, a fertility doctor, a midwife, a donor‑conceived person, and queer influencers who’ve built their families through donor conception and surrogacy. Together, they share how they answer intrusive questions, how they talk to their kids about donors and surrogates, and how they’ve learned to fully embrace the families they fought so hard to create.
We talk about:• Navigating fertility clinics, donor conception, and surrogacy as queer intended parents• What to actually say when people ask, “But who’s the real mom/dad?”• Age‑appropriate language for talking to children about donors and surrogates• Grief, joy, and pride on the path to queer parenthood• How our families feel now that their children are here
If you’re using reproductive medicine, donor conception, or surrogacy to build your family, you are not alone. This episode is meant to sit beside you in the messy middle, give you words when you’re tongue‑tied, and remind you that your family is real, valid, and worthy of celebration.
Please join us on the anniversary of Stonewall for a free Queer Family Building workshop. Register here: https://familybuilding.net/events-page/
#QueerFamily #DonorConception #QueerFertility #FamilyBuilding#DonorConceived #Pride

Re-released for Pride 2026 — In loving memory of Bret Hanna-Shuford (1979–2026)
In this beloved episode, I sit down with Bret Shuford and Stephen Hanna — the Broadway Dads — to talk about one of the most heartfelt and hard-won family-building journeys I’ve ever witnessed. Together, these two Broadway performers navigated egg donation, surrogacy, financial challenges, a lost match, a miscarriage, and a global pandemic before welcoming their son, Maverick, in 2022.Bret passed away in January 2026 after a sudden and devastating illness. He was 46 years old.Stephen is now raising Maverick on his own — and remains a fierce, loving advocate for the LGBTQ+ community in their pursuit of parenthood. I re-release this episode with a full heart, because Bret’s spirit, humor, and generosity shine through every minute of it.
In this episode we cover:• How Bret and Stephen chose their egg donor — and why the first profile felt right• The surrogacy process as two performers managing a major financial investment• How they handled the hard questions from others• What they wish they had known going in• The moment they knew it was “supposed to be this way”
This one is for every queer person who has ever dreamed of becoming a parent — and for Bret, who never stopped believing it was possible.
Episode resourcesBuy the new book "Goodnight Break a Leg": https://bit.ly/GoodNightBreakALegBook
#DonorConceptionConversations #Pride2026 #BroadwayDads #LGBTQFamily#BroadwayHusbands #Surrogacy #QueerParenting #DonorConception #EggDonation#GayDads #InMemoriam #FamilyBuilding #BretShuford #BuildingYourFamily#RepresentationMatters #LGBTQ

What does it really look like to build a queer family today – with donor conception, infertility, and non‑biological parenting in the mix?
In this episode of Building Your Family, Lisa sits down with long‑time queer family advocate and podcast host of the Queer Family Podcast, Jaimie Kelton to talk honestly about infertility, the emotional weight of genetics, and the many paths LGBTQ+ families take to build their families. They explore how advocacy and resources for queer families have evolved, why non‑biological connections can be just as deep as genetic ones, and how humor helps normalize complex family dynamics.
You’ll hear candid stories about slow bonding, the myth of the “instant magical moment,” and why accepting your unique path changes everything. Lisa and Jamie also dig into the importance of intentional parenting, open communication about donor conception, and how to create safety for kids to ask questions about their origins.
If you’re a queer parent, planning a family, or supporting LGBTQIA families, this conversation will give you language, perspective, and community for the journey.
You’ll learn:
How advocacy and resources for queer families have changedWhy infertility and emotional struggles are universal and important to acknowledgeHow to navigate feelings about genetics and non‑biological parentingPractical ways to talk with kids about donor conceptionWhy community support and openness matter so much for LGBTQ+ family building
Guest resourcesWebsite: https://www.thequeerfamilypodcast.com/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thequeerfamilypodcastInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/thequeerfamilypodcast/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thequeerfamilypodcast

Re-released for Pride 2026 — Because this conversation never gets old
What does it actually feel like to need a donor to build your family? How do you choose the right one? What does the medical process look like — and what does the emotional process look like? In this rare co-author conversation, I put these questions to Dr. Mark Leondires, Founder and Medical Director of Illume Fertility and Gay Parents To Be — and he turns them right back on me.
Together, Dr. Leondires and I wrote Building Your Family: The Complete Guide to Donor Conception. In this episode, we give you the condensed, honest version — the medical clarity, the practical steps, and the emotional truth — all in one place.
You’ll walk away knowing:• The key medical steps in egg, sperm, and embryo donation• How to think about choosing a donor — and what really matters• The emotional landscape most people don’t expect• What to tell your children — and when• Why donor conception is more mainstream than ever, and what that means for your family
Whether you’re just starting to explore the idea or are already in the process, this episode givesyou clear, actionable guidance from two of the leading voices in the field. No fluff. Nooverwhelm. Just answers.
#DonorConceptionConversations #Pride2026 #DonorConception #LGBTQFamily#EggDonation #SpermDonation #IVF #FertilityDoctor #BuildingYourFamily#DrMarkLeondires #IllumeFertility #GayParentsToBe #FamilyBuilding #QueerFamily#FertilityPodcast #ListenNow
Co-authors Lisa Schuman &; Dr. Mark Leondires answer your biggest donor conceptionquestions — medical, emotional &; practical. 50+ years of expertise in one episode.
ABOUT THE GUESTSDr. Mark Leondires, MD — Founder and Medical Director, Illume Fertility; Founder, Gay ParentsTo Be; co-author, Building Your Family: The Complete Guide to Donor Conception. Father through donor conception and surrogacy.Lisa Schuman, LCSW — Founding Director, The Center for Family Building; host, Donor Conception Conversations podcast; co-author, Building Your Family: The Complete Guide to Donor Conception; award-winning researcher, ASRM.

She was only 25 and already knew something was wrong.If you have one child and are secretly struggling to have another, this episode is for you.Margarita’s story of secondary infertility and PCOS shows what happens when “just keep trying” isn’t good enough.
In this episode of Building Your Family, Lisa Schuman sits down with Margarita Lainez to talk about the often overlooked reality of secondary infertility and PCOS. After having her first child with ease, Margarita assumed a second would come naturally. Instead, she faced month after month of negative tests, dismissive “just keep trying” advice, and the heavy guilt of not giving her son a sibling.
Margarita shares what it was like to live this while working inside the fertility world, how she finally pushed for a real workup and received a PCOS diagnosis, and the grief, shame, and loneliness that came with that season. Together, Lisa and Margarita explore self‑advocacy, setting boundaries, protecting your mental health, and finding the right support when friends, family, or even doctors don’t fully understand.
If you’re in the middle of your own fertility journey, especially secondary infertility, this conversation will help you feel less alone and more equipped to ask for what you need.
Inside this episode:
What secondary infertility can feel like day‑to‑dayBeing told “just keep trying” when you know something is wrongGetting to a PCOS diagnosis and what self‑advocacy really looked likeShame, blame, and the pressure to “give a sibling”Setting boundaries, finding community, and caring for your mental healthWhat grounded, realistic hope can look like after griefIf you’re in secondary infertility or on a donor conception path and want help with the emotional and decision‑making side, that’s exactly what we do inside Building Your Family.👉 Learn more and get support here: https://familybuilding.net/building-your-family-community/
Guest resourcesLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/margarita-lainez-950a2860/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/margaritalainez100/
#secondaryinfertility #PCOS #fertilityjourney #infertilitysupport #buildingyourfamily #donorconception #ttccommunity

If you’ve been told “this is just your protocol,” “we’ll just try again,” or “everything looks fine” while IVF keeps failing, this episode is for you. Standard IVF works for many people, but not for everyone. So what happens when you don’t fit the usual box?
In this conversation, I’m joined by Dr. Pietro Bortoletto, reproductive endocrinologist at Terra Fertility. He trained at Northwestern, Brigham & Women’s / Mass General, and Weill Cornell, and now focuses on the hard cases: diminished ovarian reserve, recurrent implantation failure, recurrent pregnancy loss, endometriosis, fibroids, and Müllerian anomalies.
We talk about:
Why he stepped out of the traditional IVF systemHow real experts think “outside the box” without going fringeWhen surgery actually helps (and when it’s just more trauma)The role of endometriosis, inflammation, and the immune system in fertilityWhat thoughtful immunologic workups look like (and when they’re not useful)When to seek a second opinion and how to do it respectfullyMindset tools for staying sane when the road is long and uncertainThis is not personal medical advice. It is a window into how a well‑trained REI thinks when standard IVF isn’t working, so you can have better, deeper conversations with your own team.
🔗 If you’re in treatment, using donors, or considering surrogacy and want more support with the emotional and decision‑making side of this journey, that’s exactly what we do inside The Building Your Family Community. You’ll find the link in the description.
Guest resources:Website: https://www.terrafertility.com/
#IVF #Fertility #Infertility #FertilityTreatment #DiminishedOvarianReserve#RecurrentImplantationFailure #RecurrentPregnancyLoss #Endometriosis#FertilityDoctor #FertilitySupport #FertilityJourney #IVFSupport#TryingToConceive #FertilityClinic #FamilyBuilding